Cry Baby Lane: A Best Worst Movie

Cry Baby Lane is a best worst movie. This made-for-Nickelodeon Halloween accident aired in October of 2000 and runs the gamut from uncalled for creepiness to unintentional misogyny.  After its single showing, the folks at Nick received so many complaints from horrified parents that the film was locked away and not mentioned again once for the following ten years.

Referring to it as Nickelodeon's Banned Film, a member of the topics forum Reddit posted her VCR recording online.  Word spread through cyberspace and soon enough the movie had established a cult following.  Not wanting to miss out on the buzz, Nickelodeon rebroadcasted Cry Baby Lane in 2011 as an homage to the 1990's.

While the story of Cry Baby Lane's release is funny, the Legend of Cry Baby Lane from the movie itself is anything but.  Really, it's quite repugnant.  A long time ago (the 1950's...) a farmer and his wife give birth to conjoined twins, one of whom is good, the other evil.  Unable to handle the shame of difference (sigh), the farmer locks his babies in an attic where they are forced to eat insects, until finally their shared liver gives out and they die.  Not wanting to expose their singular corpse, the boys are chainsawed in half and buried separately.  The good baby is laid to rest in a cemetery, the evil one in a ditch at the end of Cry Baby Lane.  You probably get why parents complained.

Andrew's Romantic Interes

The story picks back up 50 years later as the legend is laid out before twelve-year-old Andrew, our wimpy protagonist, and his older brother Carl, a bully.  In a boondoggle they think will woo some local girls, the brothers hold a séance to contact the good twin at his actual grave.

Due to a highly inconvenient burial mix-up, the evil twin's spirit is accidentally released upon the town.  Following that, the rest of Cry Baby Lane depicts a combination of family problems, Andrew's battle with the possessed townies, and a chattering ghoul inside the twin's grave.  In an unexpectedly surrealist style, many scenes are broken up with intermittent shots of pulsating neon worms in an otherwise black and white backdrop. 

Inexplicable Worm Motif

The audience is not only graced with a healthy dose of baby cackling, Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon) being weird, and an unfortunate cameo by comedian Jim Gaffigan, but plenty of juicy one-liners to boot:

"How do I apologize for raising the dead?"

"If my mom knew I was at a Séance with you, I'd be grounded for sure."

"There is nothing girls like more than to be scared out of their minds."

This also happens

The movie is not available in stores so you'll have to find it online.